How to Properly Break Your Ankle: Days 5 - 13

After only a day and a half of being home, I got physical proof of being turned into a cyborg.

There's a total of 9 pieces of metal in my ankle.

Other than that shocking revelation, nothing really exciting can happen when you have to keep your foot elevated to stop the throbbing in your ankle. So, to keep myself busy, I got a fort. It looked kind of like this:

Then, on the 7th day, I got a cast! It was purple to match my hair. The cast completely upgraded my fort so now it looked like this:

can you see the difference?

Although, the guy, Ken (like Barbie and Ken) who put my cast on was really funny. He told me about how he broke himself when he fell three stories in college. He would fix people's roofs to pay for college. His motivation for me was "if he could do it, I could do it." He was a total BAMF. He finished high school and college on crutches. I can only hope one day I can be as awesome as him. I imagine it would look a little like this:

I would expect my hair to be orange to match the awesome-ness.

(dedicated to Kevin Mathew)

Until next time.

How to Properly Break Your Ankle: Days 2 - 4

Wake up, it's 4 AM. But I don't know that until I ask the nurse. "Is it AM or PM? What day is it?"
The nurse chuckles and pats me on the head, "It's the 17th and it's 4 AM."
Keep in mind, I broke my ankle on the 15th, so my reaction went a lot like this:

Then the nurse said, "Oh sorry, I meant the 16th."

Crisis: averted. Back to a safe slumber.

The hospital was filled with lots of boring stuff. Constant temperature check-ups, as well as blood pressure and oxygen level checks. My first nurse, Nurse Kathy, was one of the coolest nurses ever. She gave me rubber bands for when I would finally shower. Also, she said that I looked like her best friend and showed me pictures to prove it. And told everyone else in the hospital so I had visitors who continuously came in saying "Oh yeah, Kathy's right. You can tell with the eyebrows. And the hair style." Speaking of visitors, the best visitor I had during my stay was a visit from Surgeon Unicorn. (oooohs and aaaaahs are appropriate at this point).

"Unicorn loves you, do you love Unicorn?"

Surgeon Unicorn came to visit the second night I was in the hospital, a night I was much more conscious for. Surgeon Unicorn also comes with three other catch phrases to help release his unicorn powers. "Please don't be sad, it will make me cry." "Come prance with me!" And, the best one "Weeeeee! Unicorn power!!"

Surgeon Unicorn was also kind enough to bring my sister and her boyfriend with him for a special visit that night. Our hangout looked kind of like this:

Days later, just before being release from the hospital, I learned that Surgeon Unicorn turned me into:

*dramatic music* *fade out*

How to Properly Break Your Ankle: Day One

I'm Amy. One day, I thought it would be great to go on an adventure with some friends. Our adventure of the day was bouldering! It looks kind of like this:

This is my friend, she's really good at it.

When it was my turn to go, I wasn't that pro. I was much more along the lines of:

Me. Struggling.

Then, I missed my hand hold and I fell. I hung out on the crash pad with my friend. Our hang out looked a lot like this:

I'm the one on the ground, t-shirt over my head, holding my leg.
(Please note, the red dots are supposed to signify blood)

Then the paramedics arrived to take me away in an ambulance and the theme of the day turned out to be "Who can get Amy's age wrong the most?" It started with a paramedic who continued to say that I was 23. And every time he said that I corrected him, loudly, with a "21!" It took him three times. Then an uneventful ambulance ride to the ER where they got my age wrong again. This time, I was born in 84 and I was old enough to be 25. Finally in the ER, I got to see my ankle, and it looked like this:

My real life ankle. Not on straight. Photo thanks to mom.

Then a lot of tiredness followed, I had a fear of falling asleep because I thought they would think I lost consciousness. They took some x-rays and eventually wheeled me off for surgery. And that just about ends day 1 for me.

Day 2: Cyborg Amy.